WIZARDS: Catching Up

It may look hopeless, but doesn’t everything in WHIPPET world?

As you may recall, in our last blog post, we riposted everyone who could help us and got stranded in Draft mode.

The Dwarf ALPICOOL, with whom our wizard WHIPPET had been consorting, was having a meltdown, which is a normal mode for dwarves we have found WHIPPET IS A CRAP.


WHIPPET had originally encountered this dwarf when she was about business unhexing a bridge.

There is always a problem with bridges, usually involving the Devil or somesuch.

Here is where we are noticing one of Judaism’s 10 Best Ideas, and that is THE WEEKEND. Don’t work people and draft animals to death.

At the same time, construction is inherently dangerous, and statistically every project does involve a death or two, with its ambient ghost corps, and for that reason, we have a lot of dwarflike angry strikers to deal with whenever we build a bridge.

So here was this spirit which WHIPPET immediately recognized to be of extreme caliber, albeit unpredictable, and, this being what the wizard world is touted for, arranged something with the Dwarf, and thus her long-time dream of owning a SHIP was worlded.

That was a year ago, and now WHIPPET and ALPICOOL have agreed to a parting, albeit with massive improvements on the ship and the way forward quite clear. Good recommendations were given on both sides, grievances buried, and the sense that ALPICOOL has constructed a mirror world somewhere and is now crowing.

DUKE: I was worried about this Dwarf situation.

COUNSELOR: They are not like us, they do not respond to our culture, and it is said that they are downright dangerous, as well as maddening.

WHIPPET: The problem is, being a lady wizard means I do not have access to the ordinary mentorship or resources to optimize my talent. The Orders are mostly men, if they take me at all, it is in a capacity that is almost scurrilous, I think, or they work around me with their secret smiles. So I have to experiment, and I kept imagining what it would be like to work with a Dwarf — and it was very fine — so when this one came along, I leapt at the arrangement.

DUKE: Try not looking like a dog all the time and see if we take you more seriously. Ingenuous cuteness is okay when dealing with a grimoire but not with BEER magic(k).

DUCHESS: May we ask the extent of the arrangement?

WHIPPET: Oh, mostly bed and board and a modest salary, but he did get to wind the clock once a month.

YOUNG WIZARD: That seems more than adequate to us.

DUCHESS: Keep silent about that part of it, or you will have a whole horde of Dwarves vying for your employment.

COUNSELOR: But only by the full moon!

DUKE: And what of the ship? For that is an arrangement of commerce, and quite real, and the Court must be clear of your intentions.

COUNSELOR: There are levies for ship works.

WHIPPET: I pay my levies. I have many enterprises, and found myself always on the road, with donkeys and baggages, the vicissitudes of highwaymen and whatnot.

DUCHESS: Is that not how you came to be involved with that Knight, Sir LEYA?

WHIPPET: An unsteady prospect for ship repair, I’ll warrant you, but, yes, he was a fine elegance of the sword. And we did train together often. But the ship seemed like a reasonable solution to constant travel.

YOUNG WIZARD: For a pledge of the Order of the Trident. I can hear Friar Bolverk now, A ship always comes in somehow. That is a sign.

WHIPPET: So here I am with a halfway refurbished ship, the Dwarf all aloof, and winter fast approaching.

YOUNG WIZARD: The old wizarding is a down world. It is full of such problems.

DUKE: We had hoped for a fine marriage.

There is general merriment at this remark.

WHIPPET: I am afraid I lost my patrimony with that fancy affiancement and had to take work as a scullery maid. Now I am all about my own affairs, not a man’s.

COUNSELOR: What ever will you do? You will have to sell the barque.

WHIPPET: I have sold it before and it magically returned. I have conceded that the Order is avowed of the enterprise, and in the spring, we will recommence our journeys.

DUKE: And what of the dragon stone?

WHIPPET: Certain adventures were avowed.

YOUNG WIZARD: I had rather thought it was lost.

WHIPPET and THE YOUNG WIZARD exchange a knowing glance, for the Stone had not sat idle during these tumultuous times.

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