Tai Chi

I have never been good at sports. That was my sister’s domain. We were both several months younger than our grade mates, but she could run and jump and throw the ball with the best, while I was spindly and awkward. The only sports I ever excelled at were the weird ones that nobody played, so I could not really be popular in a sporting kind of way. Tininkling, the bamboo pole jumprope from the West Indies, where you leap in and out of the poles that are banging together and apart without getting your ankles broken. I couldn’t kick a ball, but I could do that. Another Deep Self skill, like knitting.

And I could do martial arts. There was no regular karate class in our high school, but there was an intramural karate club. My first teacher made us all try out by doing calisthenics for an hour, then standing in horse stance until we fell over. He did this for a week, and each day the number of people who showed up lessened and lessened until Friday there were about twenty of us left, and he said, “This is the karate club.”
I should not have been able to do that, but I was, and did it intermittently until Hermes took it away.
Once I got involved with the Cabala, my brains turned to peanut butter when I tried to learn the tai chi form and I spent a year once a week banging away at it, and never got the dang thing down.
The gods have been instructing me to get back into martial arts and it has been a year that I have been trying. Nearly every day I consult with the powers in a particular park–they love parks–they are able to reach me with all the trees. They said, “The tai chi can come in.” 
My late grandmother had been demanding the tai chi so she can be “cranial.” She was a shanghaied Chinaman brought to Amurica to build the railroads. She was born spitting distance from the port where the slavers threw them all overboard, still chained, when the Coast Guard got too nosy. Even as a white woman, she always told that story with tears in her eyes.

So today I went to Chinatown and re-upped. As I worked through the first moves of the form I loved so well, my navel center was roiling with deva energy and I was sick to my stomach. A lot of my problems in ceremonial magic have resulted in extensive food poisoning and diarrhea. At one point, I had four months of food poisoning that only stopped with an evocation of Sol for healing. Three days later I was chowing down on a juicy hamburger, while one of my professional enemies–who has gone on record as employing spiritual workers–was in the hospital with intestinal disease. 
The navel center: ancestors, family, and lovers. (Dark workers routinely curse the sex life, even in money matters. It is one of the best ways of derailing a target.)
Also the center worked in tai chi.
An ancestor’s ghost was standing there obstructing the form, and I couldn’t learn it from my head. The ancestors like to ride you as they built you. It is how they can obtain energy without learning new energy skills. It is also why we can’t get the chthonic work done in Hermetics. Christianity is falling apart in its capacity to command chthonic work. We are not really able to enforce Christian Purgatory anymore. This has changed death. People used to be forced to heal their lives by doing energy work for the living in Purgatory or be dismantled in Hell. Now they hang around and eat the living or are disintegrated portals whereby their old ones can eat their loved ones. This is one of the reasons we invented religion.
This ancestor is a Deep Self Native American. The whites sent them into the underworld without their own work being done in this world so they can make on it. Christianity may be small and stupid from the standpoint of full-on Neolithic shamanism, but it is prevalent in their lands. They are justifiably resentful, and a lot of our problems stem from the fact that we have taken their ancient lands and instituted a stupid energy culture that injures them, and they play tricks on us–they are very good at it. I don’t blame them. I prefer Norse shamanism myself–it is delicious to be mated with gods in the ancient way. But we have to live in the world as it is, and that does include the empire religions. (I am taking for granted the peace and prosperity conferred by Judeo-Christian culture and should not do that. I will be at mass tomorrow giving thanks. Ancient Scandinavia was a rough world where life was cheap.)
This ancestor also made the soul herself in a hellfire and damnation Christian sect that has dislocated everyone in the family and was driven and amplified by my Cabala. Tai chi is also going to change the dynamics of that nuclear family in the underworld, all of whom are dead, two of whom were Deep Self Asians able to “make” in tai chi in a way their energy would recognize. They may actually be able to defend themselves from the Second Baptist Church, which eats clans as badly as the Golden Dawn. I am curious how this is going to work out. 
One of the problems of the Cabala is that Judaism puts you into your head energies so profoundly the lower centers can’t work right and you make stupid mistakes in the lower chakras. So ten years ago I was unable to get into my navel enough to stick with the tai chi, which was working. If I had kept at it, my life would be different today. 
Today I had to work on the tai chi form from my navel and in my limbs, my head was so thick. I had to simply say in my belly, do this, then do this, then do this. 
I can hear Odin in all this. He is a war god, and can’t really mate with me without the war work, nor can the warriors. There is a certain weltanshauung in the Norse work that must have the warrior magic, and that is extinct in the Norse work in its original form–the Church made sure of that. We don’t know how Odin’s berserkers worked except that they consumed amanita muscaria, wore the skins of bears and wolves, and went into battle howling and without armor (going without armor strengthened Odin, the old ones say–there was a lot of objective phenomena in the old days, and when a warrior fell, he defended the rest of the troupe in the energy world, as did the women of the clan who did much of the energy work). Christianity was accepted in Iceland because the old war magic finally failed in 1000 A.D. There was a challenge between a Christian and an Odian. The Odian warrior could walk through a pagan-kindled fire, but he could not walk through a Christian-kindled fire. The gods and the ancestors work in fire. This meant that the old gods and the ancestors could not defend the people in war anymore and they needed to move into the new religion and did. Now the new religion isn’t working so well and we need to figure out how to bind the dead.
This happens periodically. It is why the Norse gods die at Ragnarok and the world is renewed. Now is the Christian Ragnarok and we need to figure out how to make the world new without the Christians taking it literally. Mushrooms enabled the Norse to know what the myths meant. They are stories about energy. I wish the Christians had mushrooms. The Cabalists clearly made hay with marijuana.
The war-sorcery that I have access to is Asian. It is probably how my old gods and the old ones mated with me in my youth and kept me safe. It is also how the Asians in the family worked with me.  I have had a good life when I was working in martial arts. I don’t get in fights–I’m a girl, and we settle things with sniping–but things are good.

The tai chi also binds the warriors in the family. My great-uncle stormed the beach at Normandy, and it “made” him in some ways that were not controlled. Another uncle fought in Vietnam and went briefly mad. The modern world does not teach the esoteric side of war. The taking of a life in war is a serious energy work. You have to “make” for the enemy or they eat you. The gods within the body assist if you are using the body to fight, and the ancient war gods “made” in war in certain ways, but if all you are doing is operating a machine that is killing people from far away, outside of your aura, the energy work is not done properly, especially if you have no energy technology for war. Christianity is all about “turning the other cheek,” and while Catholics have a lot of war saints and other demigods who work in war, Protestants have a god who admonished people to practice love.

War magic also teaches people how to die in war. You have to hold yourself together when you die and all of the energy parts have to do stuff so that you can function chthonically afterward. This is not taught or practiced in modern warfare. My uncle was a Japanese soldier who died in WWII but was not really taught how to die in a modern mechanized situation, and the Shinto death energy work was evidently not functional, if it was even done. A loss of life of the magnitude of modern war is very difficult for the earth spirits to process all at once. (This is my shtick about the dinosaurs. They all went at once, and their energy work must have been in deep shock.) The Japanese Emperor was very dishonorable in how he treated the country. He did not do well. My uncle’s soul followed the American Army home and was born as a son to one of his killers! The old ones of the pagan Norse powers say that this is exactly how you did energy work for the people you killed–you gave birth to them. Naturally this uncle entered the military and had a long and illustrious career serving the enemy. This is one ancestor who can use a little tai chi in his energy work.

We all have war in the Deep Self. We have to deal with it in the war energy work of this era, and that is Asian martial arts. I read the Tanakh today, being shabbat, and my Jewish ancestors and backers whispered, “You can’t do this without the Asians.”

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